When I was single, I hated Valentine’s Day. Don’t we all? You see all your friends with significant others touting their Valentine’s Day plans. They receive roses and chocolates, get all gussied up to go out to eat at really fancy restaurants, and post to Facebook all the reasons why they love Valentine’s Day. When you’re alone, you don’t want to be reminded that you’re alone. I used to hate these people – until I became one of them. Bernie and I are celebrating our second Valentine’s Day together today, and in all honesty, it’s not a big deal.
Last year we went out to eat at a nice restaurant in Boston’s North End neighborhood (little Italy) and had a fantastic meal. We got dressed up, and he surprised me with roses on the table when we got there. It was probably one of the top romantic things he’s done – but the night wasn’t my favorite night we’ve had together – there have been so many more memorable moments that don’t involve this “love” holiday. There’s all this build up to Valentine’s day when you’re a couple and the pressure is pretty ridiculous. “What do you get them? Do they like chocolate? What flowers does she like? Should I get her jewelry? Wow…this meal is going to be EXPENSIVE!”
When you’re in the right relationship, every day, even the mundane ones should feel like Valentine’s day. Bernie is respectful and listens to me and my needs every day. He tells me he loves me every day. He supports every decision I make, good or bad, every day. He makes me laugh really, really hard every day. He shares his life with me every day. He’s my best friend every day.
If you’re single, who cares – Valentine’s day should be YOUR day. Your day to love yourself and your life. I know – that sounds so preachy and I bet you’ve read that Cosmo article headline every February 14th, but it’s true. Don’t hate on the people who are doing things with their boyfriends or girlfriends on Valentine’s day. It’s their day, they can do what they want. But it’s your day too. Do something you love. Treat yourself to some chocolate or flowers if you want them. Be your own Valentine, because at some point during the next 364 days, one of those couples you hated on February 14th with break up but you will still have your Valentine :).
Fun facts about V-day:
- Moms are the best Valentines: My mom used to always be my Valentine. She would leave me and my sister little heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and cards in our bedrooms when we were younger. On Valentine’s Day morning we would open the cards and eat the chocolates. She continued this tradition up until we finished high school and moved out. Love you mom!
- Things are not always as they seem: You may think that those “perfect Valentine’s Day dates” that your taken friends have are absolutely romantic and perfect…but think again. Last year, we saw a couple in an intense fight while we were waiting for the valet service to bring the car around after dinner. I’m sure a lot of couples go through that – relationship issues don’t stop for Valentine’s day. Yikes.
- “Romantic” Cards: When Bernie surprised me with roses at our table at the restaurant, I thought “How romantic!”. Then I read the card and it said — “Let’s get drunk so we can fight!” **inside joke**, the romance died and I laughed so hard. It was perfect – for us.
Tonight, we’re celebrating by just making dinner at home together. No fancy restaurant. No fancy outfits (unless yoga pants and a t-shirt count). I did get him a card and I made him a surprise dessert, which I will post about very soon. Hopefully it turned out okay – it was a new baking experience for me. It’s going to be the perfect night for us; a normal night in together.
How are you celebrating Valentine’s Day? Celebrating with yourself or someone else?